Vacations with unplugged children

Digital screens near mountains, lakes, canyons? That's "ketchup on filet mignon"

It’s amazing how images from comic strips linger in our minds. How many of you older folks continue to run into on-target “Peanuts” strips at least once or twice a month? Charles M. Schulz anticipated so many trends in postmodern life.

My problem is that, when I am haunting by a particular image, it’s almost impossible to find the original. Plus, the comics are copyrighted — which means it’s extra hard to share them in blog posts (such as this one).

So, here is the image that’s currently stuck in my mind — from “Zits,” by Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman. This series ran so long ago that it may have preceded the advent of smartphones. By the way, I am opening this mid-week post up to all Rational Sheep readers, even though this is normally a “paid option” slot (and thank you to the three folks who recently answered an urgent appeal to become paid subscribers).

The bottom line: I want people to be able to pass this post to other parents, pastors, teachers and counselors.

Anyway, the super-teen Jeremy is on vacation with his “Zits” parents, Connie and Walt Duncan. It’s some road trip! They visit mountains, lakes, historic sites and all kinds of natural wonders — including the Grand Canyon.

Other than the vacation itself, the connecting thread is that, no matter how amazing the vista the parents are seeing, their young son has his head buried in his Game Boy video device. It’s impossible to pull his eyes away from that glowing screen.

Readers, try to guess the date on the following Focus on the Family item. This is the whole thing, as it ran in a small local newspaper:

Q: I’ve been hearing about the potential impact of electronic media on health, learning and interpersonal relationships. Should I be concerned? If so, should it affect the limits I put on my kids’ consumption?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged-In: A few years back, a “Zits” comic showed teenager Jeremy vacationing with his parents at the Grand Canyon. The joke was that instead of enjoying the breathtaking scenery, Jeremy was in the back of the car playing video games. It was a humorous commentary on a very sad and real problem.

According to the latest report from the Pew Research Center, 24 percent of teens say they’re online “almost constantly.” Another 56 percent report logging on several times a day. Of course, surfing the Web is just one aspect of today’s digital world. We also have to consider movies, TV, music and video games. All of these have their place — and can even be beneficial when used wisely. But there’s increasing evidence that today’s media also puts kids at greater risk for depression, obesity, attention problems, sexual promiscuity, poor grades, drug and alcohol use, anxiety and low self-esteem.

In view of this, I would say, “Yes. You have many good reasons for placing limits on your kids’ consumption of electronic media.”

Putting the genie back in the bottle may not be pleasant. But as you know, being a responsible and loving parent sometimes means doing the hard thing. This may include gathering cellphones at bed-and mealtimes, setting one day a week as a “screen-free day,” or even taking a screen-free vacation where electronic devices get left at home. Just as important is to fill the void with fun and meaningful activities. Also, inviting your kids’ input as to what that might look like can go a long way in easing the transition.

This was, to say the least, ahead of its time. This was published in the summer of 2015, only eight years after the digital apocalypse of 2008, when the prophet Steve Jobs introduced the iPhone at MacWorld. Now, the majority of teens say they are online “almost constantly.”

Years later, Focus on the Family runs the occasional article linked to screens-culture issues in family life. See this 2023 feature: “What is the Right Age to Give My Child a Smartphone?”

However, check out the organization’s current online “Get Help Resources” page. That “Get Help” list ranges from “abuse” to “eating disorders,” from “esteem” to “homosexuality,” from “mental health” to “transgenderism.” In this day and age, half of the issues on that webpage can, to one degree or another, be linked to addictions to glowing screens.

Is there a “smartphones” or screens-culture page?

No, that seems to be missing. Maybe that issue is “too hot” with many parents. Maybe the screens-culture issues have simply soaked into the organization’s libraries of materials about other topics.

However, since this is vacation season (and I have that “Zits” classic stuck in my mind), let me point readers to something else — another useful resource from Melanie Hempe at ScreenStrong.org. Here is the double-decker headline on that:

Reclaim Vacation: 8 Reasons to Leave Video Games at Home

Don’t let screens steal your family’s best moments—here’s why a game-free vacation is the best gift you can give.

Here is the overture:

When you hear the word vacation, what comes to mind?

Maybe a break from routine? Indulgence in fun activities (and food!) you normally wouldn’t touch during your typical week? For kids, though, vacation means something even more powerful: Mom and Dad are not working — and they’re paying attention to me.

That’s what your children really crave. Not more screen time and not more video games. What they want most is you. Your time, your focus, and your presence. Even if they don’t come out and ask for these things.

Unfortunately, that beautiful intention of connection can easily get hijacked by something small but powerful tucked into a suitcase: a video game console, handheld device, or smartphone.

Note the assumption that most modern children, especially teens, openly embrace family vacations. Maybe I am being cynical, but I wonder if that remains the case, in a tragic number of families. Does anyone know of specific research on that subject?

Here is a key theme woven into the piece, one that echoes the work of author Marie Winn in her 1977 classic, “The Plug-In Drug: Television, Children, and the Family.” She has updated that book several times, so look for new editions.

When discussing the role of televisions in modern homes, Winn stressed that it is parents who are addicted first — because they need glowing screens to play the role of free, dependable babysitters. Thus, in this new vacations essay, Hempe includes:

No video games = no babysitter temptation.

When everyone’s tired and you just want a break, it’s tempting to hand over a screen device. Resist it. Instead, build quiet time into your vacation routine. Bring books, puzzles, cards, or journals. Show your kids how to rest without digital crutches.

Here is another items in a much longer list:

Memories don’t get made in Minecraft.

Gaming can remove children socially, emotionally, and physically from engaging with and relaxing with their family. When kids play video games on vacation, they miss a lot: grandparent stories, family jokes, and impromptu adventures. Relaxing together without screens builds emotional memory and connection—things you simply can’t replicate in a virtual world. Experiencing new things together makes vacation time fun, priceless, memorable, and surprisingly healthy.

Having recently returned from a 3,000-mile-plus road trip, much of that with grandchildren on board, I was especially interested in the list of practical parenting tips — starting with “don’t pack the game console” and other kid screens.

Others:

No gaming in the car.

Replace it with audiobooks, silly songs, I Spy, or little surprise treats every 100 miles. The trip itself is part of the experience; don’t zone out for it.

Pre-determine movie limits.

One movie on the way there, one on the way back if you feel it is necessary on a long trip. Let the rest of the miles be filled with stories, naps, music, drawing, or conversation.

Prepare for pushback.

The more your children protest, the more they need this break. If they say games are the only way they can relax, that’s a red flag. Teach them better ways to occupy their free time.

Hempe, whether she knew it or not, later offered a perfect summary of that classic series of “Zits” comics.

Are you going somewhere that’s stunningly beautiful and fun? Like, oh, the Rocky Mountains, the Southern Highlands or even the Grand Canyon?

Hempe argues that allowing kids to lock their eyes on game devices is “like putting ketchup on filet mignon! If you’re going to let them play video games, they may as well stay home and eat a hamburger.”

That would be a fast-food hamburger, of course.

Read. It. All. And pass that article on to other parents, pastors, teachers and counselors.