We adopted 3 kids from foster care, so I know something about the CPS mindset. I watched that video. It may well be completely true (or not, I don't know). But I can tell you definitively how a CPS worker who saw that video would answer:
"We're all about the safety of children, and asking about Kendra's parenting abilities and disciplinary methods is critical to ensuring those kids safety. Any parent can be an abuser, and we can only know whether Kendra is by asking these sorts of questions. Whether the kids have enough food in the house is important. Understanding where they sleep is critical to evaluating the potential for sexual abuse. These are all simple questions to ensure the children's safety and any social worker would be negligent not to ask them. Remember, it's about keeping kids safe."
They would say it with a straight face, believing every word. Such people are truly dangerous. My experience with foster care social workers made me question whether state-run foster care should even exist.
I know many churches that partner with CPS in the name of "caring for the least of these". This is a noble thing to do, but in negative world (see Aaron Renn), it is foolish to expose your congregation so that kind of risk. If you have your own children in your home under no circumstances should you EVER be a foster parent. You are inviting people into your home who are are 100% certain that what you believe (as a conservative Christian) is actively evil, you are an abuser simply for subjecting your kids to it, and they are the expert parents (even though most county CPS workers are childless) who know best.
Furthermore, they do not distinguish between your ability as a "foster parent" and your ability as "parent", so an allegation of abuse by one of your foster kids ("she hit me; see the bruise") will result in the foster kids being removed AND YOUR OWN CHILDREN BEING "TEMPORARILY" PLACED IN FOSTER CARE! From the worker's perspective, this is utterly logical ("if she's unsafe for foster children we have to make sure her own children are safe") but most parents who signup to foster have absolutely no idea that they are opening their own children to this risk. Congregations should be very wary of this.
I have experienced this sort of discrimination by social workers personally. My wife and I adopted our 3 kids from foster care. We very carefully hid the fact that we were serious Christians; they knew we went to church but we never told them we planned to homeschool for example. But at age 5, this could nbo longer be hidden. I kid you not that our social worker came into our house talking about how much she wanted to place 2 more kids with us, then it came out that we were planned to homeschool, and on a dime (less than 5 minutes) she transitioned to "well, we really think you have your hands full so we're not placing any more with you." The look on her face made it clear that we were so evil she would have ripped our 3 kids out of our home on the spot if she thought she could get away with it (it had been 3+ years at that point and we had filed paperwork to grant us rights in the courts, so she couldn't.)
Pastors need to be much more careful about encouraging their members to become foster parents. Young childless couples? Sure. Grandparents? Sure. Anyone with kids in the home? Absolutely not! Charity is a virtue. But so is prudence.
I have heard quite a few similar stories. Once again, this is CHURCH territory and, in this day and age, linked to many Rational Sheep issues. Thank you for the comment.
May I quote my co-author, Dr. Beth Robinson, in our book, Protecting Your Child from Predators (Bethany, 2019)?
. .The reality is that a few strategies can help you monitor your children’s safety without constant eyesight supervision. One of the easiest changes to make is to change your own location when you are supervising your children.
If your children are outside riding bikes, can you sit on the front porch? If you are doing something inside your home that you can do sitting on the front porch, an easy solution to supervision is to do it on the front porch! If you are folding laundry, you can fold it on the porch and go in and out of the house to transfer wet clothes to the dryer. If you are cooking, you can sometimes restructure your cooking and use a pressure cooker or slow cooker, so you can stay on the porch.
If you are engaged in activities where you cannot provide supervision outside, you should probably be doing eyesight check-ins with your children approximately every fifteen minutes if they are out in the neighborhood. Or better yet, bring them inside when you are cooking and let them help you prepare the meal and learn to cook at the same time.
If your children want to play with friends, invite their friends to your house rather than having your children go to friends’ houses. Make your house the home where all the kids in the neighborhood want to come to and spend time.
How can you do that? You can decide that you’ll put on a “welcome” face when you see their friends. Grit your teeth when they track in dirt. Ask about their sports activities, or favorite team, or dolls or other toys. Get to know them.
Provide snacks and water and drinks for them, out in the open so they don’t have to ask. If you work, use part of your grocery budget to go to a food warehouse, day-old bread store, or dollar store to buy snacks. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, decide that a messy kitchen is a small price to pay for the rewards of having kids mix cookies and bake them, for instance.
Watch at garage sales and thrift stores for board games that your kids will like to play—activities that will keep them together, and in your sight. Get a basketball hoop or other equipment for group games in your backyard where you can see them.
We adopted 3 kids from foster care, so I know something about the CPS mindset. I watched that video. It may well be completely true (or not, I don't know). But I can tell you definitively how a CPS worker who saw that video would answer:
"We're all about the safety of children, and asking about Kendra's parenting abilities and disciplinary methods is critical to ensuring those kids safety. Any parent can be an abuser, and we can only know whether Kendra is by asking these sorts of questions. Whether the kids have enough food in the house is important. Understanding where they sleep is critical to evaluating the potential for sexual abuse. These are all simple questions to ensure the children's safety and any social worker would be negligent not to ask them. Remember, it's about keeping kids safe."
They would say it with a straight face, believing every word. Such people are truly dangerous. My experience with foster care social workers made me question whether state-run foster care should even exist.
I know many churches that partner with CPS in the name of "caring for the least of these". This is a noble thing to do, but in negative world (see Aaron Renn), it is foolish to expose your congregation so that kind of risk. If you have your own children in your home under no circumstances should you EVER be a foster parent. You are inviting people into your home who are are 100% certain that what you believe (as a conservative Christian) is actively evil, you are an abuser simply for subjecting your kids to it, and they are the expert parents (even though most county CPS workers are childless) who know best.
Furthermore, they do not distinguish between your ability as a "foster parent" and your ability as "parent", so an allegation of abuse by one of your foster kids ("she hit me; see the bruise") will result in the foster kids being removed AND YOUR OWN CHILDREN BEING "TEMPORARILY" PLACED IN FOSTER CARE! From the worker's perspective, this is utterly logical ("if she's unsafe for foster children we have to make sure her own children are safe") but most parents who signup to foster have absolutely no idea that they are opening their own children to this risk. Congregations should be very wary of this.
I have experienced this sort of discrimination by social workers personally. My wife and I adopted our 3 kids from foster care. We very carefully hid the fact that we were serious Christians; they knew we went to church but we never told them we planned to homeschool for example. But at age 5, this could nbo longer be hidden. I kid you not that our social worker came into our house talking about how much she wanted to place 2 more kids with us, then it came out that we were planned to homeschool, and on a dime (less than 5 minutes) she transitioned to "well, we really think you have your hands full so we're not placing any more with you." The look on her face made it clear that we were so evil she would have ripped our 3 kids out of our home on the spot if she thought she could get away with it (it had been 3+ years at that point and we had filed paperwork to grant us rights in the courts, so she couldn't.)
Pastors need to be much more careful about encouraging their members to become foster parents. Young childless couples? Sure. Grandparents? Sure. Anyone with kids in the home? Absolutely not! Charity is a virtue. But so is prudence.
I have heard quite a few similar stories. Once again, this is CHURCH territory and, in this day and age, linked to many Rational Sheep issues. Thank you for the comment.
May I quote my co-author, Dr. Beth Robinson, in our book, Protecting Your Child from Predators (Bethany, 2019)?
. .The reality is that a few strategies can help you monitor your children’s safety without constant eyesight supervision. One of the easiest changes to make is to change your own location when you are supervising your children.
If your children are outside riding bikes, can you sit on the front porch? If you are doing something inside your home that you can do sitting on the front porch, an easy solution to supervision is to do it on the front porch! If you are folding laundry, you can fold it on the porch and go in and out of the house to transfer wet clothes to the dryer. If you are cooking, you can sometimes restructure your cooking and use a pressure cooker or slow cooker, so you can stay on the porch.
If you are engaged in activities where you cannot provide supervision outside, you should probably be doing eyesight check-ins with your children approximately every fifteen minutes if they are out in the neighborhood. Or better yet, bring them inside when you are cooking and let them help you prepare the meal and learn to cook at the same time.
If your children want to play with friends, invite their friends to your house rather than having your children go to friends’ houses. Make your house the home where all the kids in the neighborhood want to come to and spend time.
How can you do that? You can decide that you’ll put on a “welcome” face when you see their friends. Grit your teeth when they track in dirt. Ask about their sports activities, or favorite team, or dolls or other toys. Get to know them.
Provide snacks and water and drinks for them, out in the open so they don’t have to ask. If you work, use part of your grocery budget to go to a food warehouse, day-old bread store, or dollar store to buy snacks. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, decide that a messy kitchen is a small price to pay for the rewards of having kids mix cookies and bake them, for instance.
Watch at garage sales and thrift stores for board games that your kids will like to play—activities that will keep them together, and in your sight. Get a basketball hoop or other equipment for group games in your backyard where you can see them.