Money. If you pay enough to make it worth the babysitter's while, the cost of a night out is so high that even if you can afford it, that's pressure, and pressure is no fun.
P*rn. I don't want any of that on our WiFi, even for a curious teenager.
Values. A girl could have good internal values yet speak the language of public school, and could upend a lot of parental hard work with a few age inappropriate comments. Teenagers are learning too and like fish they might not see the water they swim in.
At the end of the day though, it comes down to that no social event is worth risking child abuse. Any sort of babysitter there would be a ramping up of trust and responsibility over time, not to meet an artificial deadline like a particular social event.
Love this post. Finding childcare has been the hardest thing for us as parents. We have gone out maybe 4 times in the past year. Our families are too busy and / or far away to help regularly. Babysitters are truly expensive — minimum wage has increased 200% in 20 years, while inflation for that period is about 70%.
We’ve had decent luck with a paid membership to an app that vets caregivers — we then do phone and in-person interviews and a trial date with one of us home before hiring them. And a lot of praying and trusting, as Simon mentioned.
There are girls we love at both churches we attend, but one is a mission and one is a monastery, so there’s a much larger radius of attendees and it would require hours of driving. Younger girls need transportation, too — that’s one reason they don’t sit as much anymore. And, in our experience, Gen Z doesn’t value work as much as other priorities, so cancelations are common.
In 20 years of teaching high school, I’ve found exactly one student I would trust with my children. She’s amazing. And she graduates in a few weeks. So, back to square one!
Interesting. My kids are grown and out of the house, but my girls, starting about 17 years ago, babysat. We lived in military communities where neighbors were known, though, so that may be an unusual thing even for that time? But they had plenty of work and made a fair amount of money, paying for first computers and iPods on their own.
But, reflecting on this article a bit, I don't remember the last time I heard someone comment that they were going to get a sitter, or got a sitter and went out. Granted, I don't hang around with a lot of parents of young children these days, but at Church we have lots of families with them.
I think that we will actively encourage our daughters to babysit when they are older. I think it all hinges on a willingness to build community of people with shared values, or the willingness to risk joining one. Hopefully there will be people in our community that we trust and vice versa with our daughters watching their children.
For myself, most of my summer jobs were manual labor for people from our church, or people they knew. I’m hoping to have the same thing for my sons so they can learn basic job skills, networking, and the like.
We have been blessed in regards to quality, trustworthy babysitters. We are an active duty military family. We have had two different young ladies babysit for us. It helped that we met them at the on post chapel, and that we know and trust their parents.
Both of these young gals knew our kiddos from teaching them in the Awana program. Admittedly my wife and I are pretty trusting people, and the advent of smart phones really had been helpful. The biggest thing has been that we had a pre-existing relationship. There was trust already established through shared community.
If you don’t have that community to begin with, you won’t have the background and basis of who to know and trust. My wife and I are significantly less fearful and anxious than some of our peers. I can’t imagine what it would be like for them to find someone online, since they have no community to draw from.
Money. If you pay enough to make it worth the babysitter's while, the cost of a night out is so high that even if you can afford it, that's pressure, and pressure is no fun.
P*rn. I don't want any of that on our WiFi, even for a curious teenager.
Values. A girl could have good internal values yet speak the language of public school, and could upend a lot of parental hard work with a few age inappropriate comments. Teenagers are learning too and like fish they might not see the water they swim in.
At the end of the day though, it comes down to that no social event is worth risking child abuse. Any sort of babysitter there would be a ramping up of trust and responsibility over time, not to meet an artificial deadline like a particular social event.
Love this post. Finding childcare has been the hardest thing for us as parents. We have gone out maybe 4 times in the past year. Our families are too busy and / or far away to help regularly. Babysitters are truly expensive — minimum wage has increased 200% in 20 years, while inflation for that period is about 70%.
We’ve had decent luck with a paid membership to an app that vets caregivers — we then do phone and in-person interviews and a trial date with one of us home before hiring them. And a lot of praying and trusting, as Simon mentioned.
There are girls we love at both churches we attend, but one is a mission and one is a monastery, so there’s a much larger radius of attendees and it would require hours of driving. Younger girls need transportation, too — that’s one reason they don’t sit as much anymore. And, in our experience, Gen Z doesn’t value work as much as other priorities, so cancelations are common.
In 20 years of teaching high school, I’ve found exactly one student I would trust with my children. She’s amazing. And she graduates in a few weeks. So, back to square one!
May I ask what kind of school your kids attend?
We’re doing a combination of Emilio Reggia / Montessori. Our dream would be classical and / or Orthodox, but there’s nothing like that where we live!
Solid goals. Move to Wichita, Kansas
Interesting. My kids are grown and out of the house, but my girls, starting about 17 years ago, babysat. We lived in military communities where neighbors were known, though, so that may be an unusual thing even for that time? But they had plenty of work and made a fair amount of money, paying for first computers and iPods on their own.
But, reflecting on this article a bit, I don't remember the last time I heard someone comment that they were going to get a sitter, or got a sitter and went out. Granted, I don't hang around with a lot of parents of young children these days, but at Church we have lots of families with them.
What do you think of the other topics the post linked to that phenomenon?
I think that we will actively encourage our daughters to babysit when they are older. I think it all hinges on a willingness to build community of people with shared values, or the willingness to risk joining one. Hopefully there will be people in our community that we trust and vice versa with our daughters watching their children.
For myself, most of my summer jobs were manual labor for people from our church, or people they knew. I’m hoping to have the same thing for my sons so they can learn basic job skills, networking, and the like.
Yes, in today’s world, I think shared beliefs is the pole around which all of these questions revolve. Churches and their schools could lead.
We have been blessed in regards to quality, trustworthy babysitters. We are an active duty military family. We have had two different young ladies babysit for us. It helped that we met them at the on post chapel, and that we know and trust their parents.
Both of these young gals knew our kiddos from teaching them in the Awana program. Admittedly my wife and I are pretty trusting people, and the advent of smart phones really had been helpful. The biggest thing has been that we had a pre-existing relationship. There was trust already established through shared community.
If you don’t have that community to begin with, you won’t have the background and basis of who to know and trust. My wife and I are significantly less fearful and anxious than some of our peers. I can’t imagine what it would be like for them to find someone online, since they have no community to draw from.
Thank you for your comment. Basically, your REALITY ticked off the factors in the old-school formula. Correct?
"It helped that we met them at the on post chapel, and that we know and trust their parents."
One, two, three ... Right there.
Exactly. 🎯